Broken

Born 1964 here in the City of Angels at Queen of Angels Hospital. I was told my birth was a accident and experienced three major surgeries by age 5. The first  two  surgeries were done on my feet to correct the severity of my pigeon toe so not to  embarrass or trip over them  as I walked down the street with my mother  in her Beverly Hills coituor. The second was a result from my grandmother  one day staring lovingly into my eyes and my eyes not staring directly back with that same love and my mother thought it a curse and had the doctors surgically remove both my eyes and correctly set them back so not  to have to look across the dinner table at my cockeyed face. Growing up I didn't see this coming from a self-righteous spirit I thought it love and a blessing from God that I had parents who could afford such operations but time would reveal much more. My father was age 45 at the time of my birth and deemed steril by many doctors. So after numerous test were done it was determined my mother had not cheated and I was in fact his. A engineer at Lockheed Aircraft my father lead a quiet simple life he didn't drink, smoke nor curse and though he wasn't a Christian James Young neither judged, griped, or complained. Mrs Young my mother did all the above. I also never saw my father kiss another woman after my mother divorced him. I was age 7, her reason for leaving He didn't have that take charge attitude, which may have  been the reason he bought her home his check. Both my parents are from Ohio my father Cincinnati  my mother Toledo but the two met here in Los Angeles. So after stripping me from Page Academy in Beverly Hills, she drove my half sister and I to our new apartment in Inglewood and provided us with separate bedrooms, separate color television's and stereo's and our very own telephone's all stolen merchandise. Dear mom, and this was her take charge attitude on life. I wasn't mad. Dad was only a few miles away and I did just get a brand new telephone. Go momma, Unfortunately however, this was after her two failed attempts as a boutique owner, and  two unsuccessful marriages one which led in a state to state kidnapping battle over who got custody of my sister. Then my sister would have to endure my  untimely birth into this cruel world and watch a man who been told his whole life he would never father a child be given a son from God above. How much attention did this divert from a 7 year old little girl? I don't know but my grandmother told me around age 12 after I asked Why does L act so distant with me? Her response was. Your sister hates you. I guess don't ask if you don't want the truth. I still kept on loving my sister and she continued on tolerating me when she wasn't running away from home. Something else I could never understand about her, when our mother gave us so much freedom. Maybe she was getting away from me. God bless my sis a work still in progress as we all are. Over the next two years mom would  pluck a tailor for her boy friend out of the Leimert Park area and fall madly in lust. I myself round up three little quties who lived upstairs all sisters that indulged me with passion everyday after school naked. While my sister had her boy toys sliding in and out of her sliding glass door to her bedroom. These escapades all taking place as mom held down her job at Pacific Telephone on Wilshire Blvd. Then refusing to purchase our three unit building for fifty-thousand dollars at the owner's request. Mom and her tailor boyfriend decided to upgrade to brand new Cadillac's and a apartment in North Inglewood without discussion with my sister or I. This constant uprooting from friends and aquaintances couldn't possibly be good for the sanctity of unity and bond unless it has purpose and plan with a ultimate goal in mind. And where would this leave my sex life? I had already played with little boys, and was molested by my older cousin a few times on my trips back east for the summers with my grandparents. I know I was to young to be having sex but at least it was with girls and I could now grow up without that label of being called homosexual since the bible wasn't talked or taught in our home. So I couldn't wait to get home to the sisters each day. After we moved ,when school let out I'd hurry on my bike to see the girls but my little legs could never peddle fast enough to beat their mom and dad's powered by gas automobiles and for fear of pulling out my natural I soon gave up in defeat and admitted  we moved to far once again. Then came  that awful day on the basketball court when satan and I met face to face eye to eye.